Category: VoxPosts


Humans discover a living sample taken from the surface of Mars in the new science fiction thriller “Life.” The film is set on the International Space Station after the team of astronauts recover the sample from a Mars probe, but the exciting discovery quickly turns dangerous and threatens the lives of everyone on Earth. “Life” tells the story of the six-member crew of the International Space Station that is on the cutting edge of one of the most important discoveries in human history: the first evidence of extraterrestrial life on Mars. As the crew begins to conduct research, their methods end up having unintended consequences and the life form proves more intelligent than anyone ever expected.

The couple had been happily married for 50 years. The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “HOW bloody much?…

Source: Naughty Friday funny–Counting the pennies

Made me laugh out loud.

1petermcc's Blog

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. N.Z. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, “I just shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.'”

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Had to share this gem from Peter’s blog.

1petermcc's Blog

An Infantry Major was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Major decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure?”

A Captain chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.

A Lieutenant said it was 50-50%.

A 2nd Lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the Major turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was his opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young Private responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”

The Major was…

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Paging Erwin Schrödinger

Brilliant. Had to share.

Cute Overload

Imagine you place a kitty in a box, and then place that box in another box with another kitty. According to the theory of Qtetum Mechanics, there is a 46% chance that the kitties will be furiously whapping each other, a 72% chance they will be cuddling each other, a 19% chance they will be simultaneously whapping and cuddling, and a 218% chance they will just stare at you until you give them treats.

Wx1HArO

Via Reddit/Imgur.

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“Barcelona GO!” is a beautiful video by Shanghai-based photographer Rob Whitworth that captures the many faces of the Catalan capital using a process he calls “flow-motion,” which seamlessly combines elements of the hyperlapse and infinite zoom techniques for a free-flowing tour around the city. All told, the two-minute video required 26,014 shots and 363 hours to create.

<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/98123388″>Barcelona GO!</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/robwhitworth”>Rob Whitworth</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

Pic of the Day – 4/20/15

Owls populate a cave in Painted Rock at Carrizo Plain by photographer Rick Evans.

owls-painted rock-carrizo plain-rick evans

2014 in Review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 29,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 11 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

(A re-post from five years ago, but always worth a re-visit)

1) The Wet T-Shirt

Get out an old t-shirt. Wet thoroughly with cold water in the sink. Wring out the excess. Put t-shirt on. You’ll feel immediately cooler for as long as the shirt is damp. Repeat as necessary. Added benefit if you place your wet t-shirt in the freezer for a few minutes before putting it on. Ditto if you wet it in ice-water (leftover cooler ice is perfect for this use). The effect is heightened if you stand or sit in front of a fan or a breeze, but your shirt will dry faster.

(Following is for the ladies):  I understand this can only be done properly in the privacy of your home. If you have a significant other, they will be the delighted and sole judge of their own personal, one-woman wet-t-shirt contest every afternoon. But, if it’s an emergency, select a t-shirt for wetting that has a heavier, thicker weave, and wear a bra. Not only will the heavier weave hold the moisture longer, it’ll provide (along with the bra) enough coverage that people won’t even perceive it.

Variation #1: If you need to sleep but it’s too ungodly hot, try this. I’m assuming you’re already laying nekkid on top of the sheets, and you’re still sweating. Get your t-shirt and wet and wring it as usual. Hold it flat by the shoulders, and as you lay down, drape it over your torso. If you have to turn, adjust as necessary so the damp shirt is still draped over your torso.

Variation #2: Wet your hair, too. It’s amazing.

2) The Ice-Cube Necklace

Reserve this for when even the wet t-shirt isn’t enough. Get a bandana or a cloth napkin and wet it in the sink. Wring out the excess, and lay it out on the counter. Line several ice cubes diagonally along the center. Fold over and roll up with the ice cubes inside. Tie the ends around your neck. Adjust the knot so that the ice cubes are sitting just off your neck, resting on your collarbone – it shouldn’t be too tight. The ice cools the blood running through your carotid arteries, and as it melts, helps keep your wet t-shirt wet with cool water. Even when the ice is gone, just the moist bandana around your neck will provide much cooling effect.

3) Cold Showers

Administered as necessary, and they only have to be long enough to just rinse off the damn sweat and cool your skin. Go ahead and whoop if you have to when you first step in. It’s okay. You’ll feel so refreshed and ready to face the thought of clothing again. If you can’t do this, at least rinse your face and arms in cold water.

4) Go Barefoot

Even flip-flops can feel stifling when it’s ridiculously hot. Whenever possible, go completely barefoot. It makes a difference. (And by the way, it’s a common misconception that it’s illegal to drive with your shoes off. Poppycock. Ask any cop.)

5) Wear a Hat And Sunglasses

Anytime you’re going to be in the direct sun, wear a wide-brimmed hat and polarized sunglasses and think of them as though they were armor. Wear them even if you’re only taking some garbage out to the can or fetching something from your car. Because swear to god if you don’t, your friendly neighbor will drive by at that moment and you’ll be obliged by politeness to stand there for what feels like hours chatting while you’re being braised to a crispy red fricassee by the merciless sun. When it’s ungodly hot, the addition of direct sunlight becomes like a palpable force, a physical thing beating you about the head and shoulders. I live at a mild altitude, 4,600 feet. For every 1,000 feet of altitude above sea level, the sun’s damaging UV rays are increased by 10%. That much less atmosphere to filter and protect. So the sun where I live is 46% stronger than at sea level. Arm yourself like you’re a military operation and dart from shady spot to shady spot as though a sniper has you in his sights.

6) Don’t Do Anything

We all live in a society where it’s considered a sin to loll about like a slug. Again with the poppycock. You know how you’ve been feeling sleepy, lethargic, slow, unmotivated and irritable? That’s nature’s way of telling you to fix a mojito and put your feet up with a trashy novel. Anything more requires far too much energy.

7) Don’t Eat Anything

Okay, of course we have to keep eating. I don’t know about you, but my appetite tends to disappear when it’s really hot. It takes too much energy to prepare, eat and digest food. Even when I do feel a glimmer of hunger, all I can even consider consuming is ice cream (or sorbet), cold cuts, pickles and olives, salads, cold cheese, cold cereal, all kinds of fruit, PBJ’s, Otter Pops, and of course alcohol. Now, the “experts” will tell you that alcohol is dehydrating and should be avoided when it’s hot. Again, see above re: poppycock. That’s what this marvelous invention, ice cubes, are for, in addition to supplying your ice-cube necklace. Besides, when it’s so hot you’ll literally have to punch the next person who asks you if it’s “hot enough for ya?”, it’s a good societal lubricant to have just a little buzz on.

PS- I highly recommend this product by Fusion Brands called the Ice Orb. It’s a vertical ice cube tray! The center holds ice cubes in storage, or can be used for cold transport or to chill wine. I’m so impressed with this brilliant design.

8) For the Ladies

Wear as little makeup as possible. It’ll just melt anyway. And prevent you from splashing your face in some cold water when needed (see no.3 above). When it’s ungodly hot, modesty tends to be the first virtue to suffer (“If they haven’t seen a naked woman by now, it’s about damn time they did” — as my darling mother loves to say). This also applies to makeup. A little waterproof mascara and some lipstick is all we really need, if that. Your co-workers will get over their shock.

9) For the Pets

Take a few empty 2-liter soda bottles and fill them 3/4 to the top with water, replace lids and freeze in your freezer. Before leaving in the morning, take your frozen water bottles out of the freezer. Place standing upright in a shallow bowl or saucer in cool areas, like the bathroom. As the ice slowly melts, condensation will form on the outside and collect in the saucer. Your pets will lick the cold droplets off the bottle and lap the cold water in the saucer. They will also just loll around the bottles to feel the cool emanating off of them.

10) Bonus Recipe – Summer Succotash

This is good to prep in the morning when it’s cool and keep covered in the fridge for a few days. It’s light yet filling, and you can pull it out and eat as much (or little) as you want.

  • 1 can corn niblets
  • 1 can lima beans (peas work well too)
  • 1 cup (or so) plain yogurt or sour cream
  • 1 TB fresh or dried dill
  • 1 TB lemon juice
  • Salt & pepper to taste

Rinse the corn and lima beans and drain well. Combine in a mixing bowl with other ingredients and chill.

Inventive Blogger Award!

The delightful Morgan of BooknVolume has nominated me for the Inventive Blogger Award! Thank you, my dear!

the-inventive-blogger-award

 

Here are the directions:

1. Select the blog(s) you think deserve the The Inventive Blogger Award.

2. Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen- there are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required- and ‘present’ the blog(s) with their award.

3. Include in your blog post *FIVE* things that you enjoy about blogging.

4. Let the blog(s) that you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the instructions with them- (please don’t alter the instructions or the badge!)

5. Come over and say hello to the originator of the “The Inventive Blogger Award” via this link: http://DonCharisma.org/2013/12/24/christmas-awards-the-inventive-blogger-award

6. And as a winner of the award- please add a link back to the blog that presented you with this award, and then proudly display the award on your blog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, without further ado, I’m nominating the following blogs for The Inventive Blogger Award:

  • First, there’s Seedbud’s beautiful photographic blog Leaf and Twig. It’s simple, elegant, and full of the loveliest photos.
  • Green-Eyed Geisha features song lyrics, poems, pin-ups, and love letters on LoveMen.org.
  • Steven McCabe of Poem Image has gorgeous poetry and artwork.

And here are five things I enjoy about blogging:

  1. Being somewhat isolated up here on the mountain, I appreciate the online community of friends I’ve made.
  2. Sometimes we send each other care packages. That’s so fun.
  3. I have a forum where I can share life events or bitch about them, as the case may be.
  4. I learn from and laugh and cry with people I’ve never met. It’s both weird and wonderful.
  5. This blog has led to more than one job offer, including a client I’ve had for two years now.

 

 

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